Delirious
by snailed it
Summary: Please read the full summary (88 words) right in the beginning of the prolog! Without any memories and struggling with mental illness Ena gets captured by the Akatsuki. Rated M for violence, blood, gore, drugs (,rape) and lots of craziness
1. Prolog & introduction

_Full summary_

_Ena finds herself lost and without any memories in the middle of a forest. With the help of an imaginary boy, J, she tries to find her old self but gets captured by the Akatsuki. What could be a new start for her to deal with her mental illness turns out to be hell as her condition is rapidly worsening while Ena searches for reason and answers in this crazy world of hatred, bleakness and pain._

_Rated M for violence, blood, gore, drugs (,rape) and lots of craziness_

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**This fanfiction is set in a contrived world. That means the storyline (not characters, places etc.) is (mostly) completely different so please don't refer to the original storyline while reading and just let the OC guide you through this world as she experiences most of it for the first time in her life. Blood, gore and violence will occur, rated M**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto & any of its characters.**

**Note: English is not my native language, please don't hate me**

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Prolog

It was night and I could not sleep. The restraints on my arms were way too tight and it hurt. J had left me.

I finally was about to fall asleep when I heard a noise coming from the window behind me. I wanted to turn around but I couldn't move. As I heard somebody touching the metal bars in front of the window to and began bending them apart with a terrible squealing sound I started to panic.

What do I do?

I couldn't move and since my eyes were covered as well I also could not use my soul eating eye power. This intruder would kill me!

I pressed myself into the bed, ready to scream even though it was useless because my room was soundproof. I heard as the intruder quietly jumped to the ground and stood up. Every one of his footsteps grew louder as he walk towards my bed while I was still trying to find a way to get rid of those restraints.

Suddenly he stood still and I new he was standing right in front of my bed. I could feel him. My body immediately started shaking and my breaths became shorter and louder. I knew I was about to loose it. As I opened my mouth to let out a loud scream, the intruder quickly held it shut with his hand. I wailed and tears were flowing down my face soaking the blindfold.

This was it, he would kill me now.

But to my surprise I heard him whisper with a dark voice, so close to my ear it gave me goosebumps. "Shh. It's alright, I'm here to free you"

Before I realized what this meant for me, my restraints were cut open and two strong arms lifted me up. Cold night air blew in my face as he jumped out of the window.

Due to my covered eyes I didn't know where we were going but with the could wind hitting strongly against my back I could tell we were moving fast.

Finally we stopped and I was sat down into the grass below us.

"I have to go now but I will come pick you up later. But first there's something I need to do"

And with that said, he pulled down my blindfold on one eye making me staring in one of his.

His eye was bright and red but before being able to notice any more details I began feeling really dizzy and I passed out.


	2. Chapter 1 - Who am I?

**Dear (probably not existing) viewers,**

**I am trying my best to not ****_snail_**** this story. **

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Chapter 1

"Ena?"

Somebody was shaking me.

"Ena! Wake up!"

"Oh my... what do I do?"

Grunting I opened my eyes and sat up. I had a huge headache and I felt sick. Then it hit me like a punch to the face. No memory. What happened? Where was I?... Oh my god... who am I?

I soaked in the air.

"... I was completely shocked. You were lying there and didn't move..."

Only now I noticed the boy in front of me talking non-stop. He had very pale skin, dark brown hair and greenish-gray eyes opened wide in worry -and he wore a green shirt with a big J on it.

But the thing that was freaking me out was his skin being slightly transparent. Was this boy a ghost?

"Who... who are you?"

The boy stared at me in shock. "You...don't remember me, Ena-chan?"

So my name was Ena? I must have lost all of my memory but at least this boy seemed to know me.

"My name is J. You remember now? You gave me that name!"

"Sorry, I don't remember anything..."

"Oh, dear... At least I still can be with you"

What?

I shook my head. I did not understand anything.

J gave me sad look.

"Never mind. Let's get out of here. Mh.. you might wanna to something about that thing around your ankle"

I looked down. My foot was chained to the ground with some sort of...seal.

"How do we get this of me?"

"What?! You even forgot that! Wait, let me enter your brain for a second and then we will unseal this..."

"What are you-"

The boy turned to dust which entered my mouth. I coughed. Then I heard his voice inside my head.

_Alright. I will take control of your body for a few seconds now. Please don't be scared._

I already was about to piss myself in fear, shock and disgust. What was going on?

In the next second, I had lost control of my body. Whatever I told it to do, it did not move. Instead my hands put themselves into a weird position and I felt something flowing through my body, like energy.

Then I heard myself and J say _"Release!"_ at the exact same time and felt how the seal around my ankle disappeared.

I coughed up dust and slowly my body control came back. In front of my was J again, smiling.

"Here we go. Let's get out of here"


	3. Chapter 2 - Goodby freedom!

**Enjoy ~ **

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Chapter 2

We were running through the forest. I tried my best to ignore the pain in my head and focused on what was lying in front of us. Actually, I had no idea we were heading but I trusted J who told me to run through the thick forest so that it would be hard for anyone to find us.

Though I did not know who we were running from.

"Wait!", J said, "I think somebody is here"

"Let's hide"

J disappeared and I quietly sneaked towards a few high bushes in order to hide. I heard footsteps behind me and swung my head around.

Nobody was there.

With me heart pounding I kept going until suddenly someone grabbed me from behind, lifting me up.

"Got her!", a male voice shouted.

Immediately I screamed, turning in the male's grip trying to free myself but he did not let go.

"Let me go!", I cried out loud.

Another man appeared in front of me. He wore a black cloak with red clouds on it and his mask covered everything but his eyes.

"Shut up!, He shouted and slapped me so hard I coughed blood. Tears shot in my eyes.

What did i do? Why did he slap me? It hurt so much.

Another slap hit me.

"And don't cry!"

I bit back my scream in pain. I was terrified. What was happening?

"Hidan, put that blindfold on her. Just in case"

I was turned around and looked up into the pink eyes of a silver haired man. He grinned at me.

"That's going to be fun"

With that he put the blindfold on me an I was pushed to the ground. I tried to get up only to be pushed down again.

"Stay fucking down!" Two hands grabbed my arms and tied them together, the same with my legs. Then I was lifted up onto someones shoulder.

"I'm done", the silver haired man said, "let's get moving, Kakuzu"

* * *

I think I passed out about 15 minutes after we left, I couldn't take the headache anymore.

...

I woke up in a small lighted room, you could call it a cell. My vision was extremely blurred.

"Time for your medicine, Ena-san"

* * *

With a massive jolt I woke up... again, this time lying on a mat in the middle of a dark room.

I could hardly see anything. I rubbed my head. The headache had improved but it was still there making me feel weak.

The boy from earlier was gone, so were the two men who brought me here. Fear started to take over my brain, making me shudder. Why was I here?

I noticed a door to my left, so I slowly stood up, soaking in the air as the pain from being tied up and lying on this thin mat hit me. I tried to open the door.

It did not open.

So I tried again, this time with more force. Nothing.

In distress I hammered against it with my fists, screaming.

Suddenly the door opened and that man who had slapped me before looked down at me, growling

"You really want to be beaten up, don't you?"

I took a step back, scared. He then lunged out and kicked me in stomach so fast and strongly that it sent me flying to the other side of the room. I clashed against the wall and coughed up a lot of blood. The pain was overwhelming and I fell to the ground, squirming. Shaking I rose to my knees and crawled to my mat.

"I'm not done yet", he said, "You brats gotta learn to behave"

I already knew what was going to happen next when he walked towards me, so I let myself fall down to the ground again in order to protect the injury on my stomach he had given my before. Closing my eyes, I just waited for it to begin as I heard another voice and saw a shadow standing in the doorway.

"That's enough, Kakuzu. Let me handle this"


	4. Chapter 3 - Rescuer-sama

**Look at that! I'm not snailing this! **

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Chapter 3

Kakuzu froze.

I sat up and looked at the new person in this room. He was a bit smaller than Kakuzu, had orange hair and weird purple-gray eyes and looked like he's had a bit too much fun with the piercing gun.

Kakuzu bowed his head "Leader-sama"

This was the leader! Leader of what? He looked quite dangerous so I decided it would be best to keep my mouth shut. The man walked towards me, staring at me with those creepy eyes.

"You can leave now", he told Kakuzu, who bowed his head again and left the room.

The leader focused on me again.

A shiver ran down my spine. What was he going to do?

He grabbed my shirt and lifted me up. I immediately felt the dizziness coming back and trembled backwards but the man quickly hold my arms so that I wouldn't fall. My injury hurt so much, so I covered it with my hands. He noticed, of course.

"What's that?", he asked and lifted up my shirt with one hand exposing my stomach. I looked down. There was a huge bruise in the shape of a tall fist, Kakuzu's fist. I also noticed that my ribs were showing and suddenly I felt very hungry.

"That looks nasty" With his fingers he stroked over the bruise, making me twitch with pain. "But it doesn't look like a rib is broken so this will heal by itself"

He poked one of my ribs. I flinched, his fingers were so cold.

"You are very skinny by the way. We should fix that, it makes you weak"

Then he let go of me and walked to the door. "Come on, let's go"

Shaking without the support of his strong arms, I tried to walk a few steps but the ground felt like it was moving and little black spots appeared all over the room. My legs gave in and I fell to the ground.

The leader sighted and came back again, picking me up bridal style. It felt so weird and I blushed but he just kept walking out of the room into the hallway.

Its walls looked really shabby, plaster crumbling off everywhere and I could feel the humidity on my skin. We must have been in the basement of this building. I still had no idea what exactly this place was supposed to be but I was too scared to ask. Even though this guy rescued me from the other man earlier, he just did not look like that kind of guy you want to piss off with asking annoying questions.

He turned left and walked up some stairs. This new hallway looked way better than the one from a few seconds ago. It had cream-colored stone walls, same with the tiles on the floor.

The leader turned many corners until he stopped in front of a tall wooden door, kicking in open with his foot. Inside he sat me down on a couch, locked the door and began studying some papers on his desk in front of me.

"So..You must be Ena. Do you have a last name?"

My mind began racing. I did not remember anything. And I did not want to be here. What is this place? He looked up from the papers, growling: "I asked you a question, so you better answer. Otherwise..." He pulled a kunai out of his cloak. My eyes widened.

"I..I don't remember anything", I stammered eying the shining kunai.

He raised an eyebrow, obviously he did not believe me which meant he would hurt me.

I dug my nails into the couch, my mind was racing. There had to be something to prove that I wasn't lying. The leader sighted and stood up, the kunai in his hand.

"I woke up in a clearing with absolutely no memory of anything, not even my name. I'm not lying, I swear!", I cried. "Please don't hurt me"

He did not seem to care and came closer, grabbing my neck. I screamed and tried to push him away but he was way too strong.

"Look at me!"

He grabbed my chin, making me look directly in his eyes. Tears ran down my face. I didn't want to get hurt again.

"I belive you", the leader said "if you were lying you would have tried to eat my soul. Unfortunately this doesn't work on me"

"Why would I eat..."

"So you even lost memory of that powerful technique? We've got a lot of work to do then"

And with that he stood up and left the room.

"Don't try anything stupid"

Then he locked the door and left.


	5. Chapter 4 - Busted!

Chapter 4

So now I was alone in this guy's office without any clue what was about to happen next. I was hungry, tired and scared. I wanted to leave this place as soon possible and search for the meaning of this world. Maybe it was just a big nightmare and I would wake up again, in my bed at home and knowing who I was and what this was all about. Maybe.

He told me to "not try anything stupid" what obviously meant looking for a way to escape and although I was afraid of the consequences if I would do so, I just had to try something.

So I checked the room for windows, other doors that were unlocked and even for a ventilation shaft, but there weren't any. There was a second door though but it was locked as well.

Suddenly my vision became blurred again and mist covered the room.

A person appeared in front of me, a dark brown haired boy with a green t-shirt with a J on it.

"J! You are back", I gasped surprised. He smiled then his face became serious.

"Listen, Ena. I don't know exactly where we are but this place is very dangerous, i can feel it. You need to get us out of here at once before something bad happens"

J was nervous, I could see that. He played with his fingers and bit his nails.

Escaping... great idea. But how? I looked around the room again. Everything was covered with mist now and the furniture seemed to have grown, staring at me like they were having eyes.

The leader's office desk caught my attention. There had to be something useful there. Maybe even a key!

As I stepped closer I heard somebody's whispering and it grew louder the closer I got to the desk. I turned around but nobody was there, even J had left. Everything suddenly was so colorful as I turned back and searched for something useful inside the drawers of the desk.

The whispering came back but this time it was two people. I tried my best to ignore it, assuming it came from my earlier dizziness, and continued searching.

I found another kunai and the whispering grew even louder, making me deaf to anything else. But the sound stopped abruptly when the door flew open and the leader entered again, this time with a woman on his side.

They stared at me standing in front of his desk, with all the drawers open and a kunai in my hand. Busted.

In the twinkling of an eye the leader stood behind me with his arm around my neck, giving me a choke hold. The kunai fell out of my hand; I could not breathe and tried with all my body strength to loosen his grip but failed. My lungs began to ache as I desperately struggled for air. Black spots appeared on my vision and my body weekend. I pulled a few more times at his arm, trying to free myself but with every time I tried I lost more power until my arms fell down and my body relaxed. Then I felt him

releasing his grip and I fell to the ground. Everything went black.

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**This was a short one... The next chapter will be longer**


	6. Chapter 5 - Cutting off legs is fun!

**I promised you this chapter would be longer... Well, I lied. **

**Oh, wait, I didn't! It's 9 words longer than the last one. **

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Chapter 5

"Time for your medicine, Ena-san"

I saw the nurse's face through the little window on my cell door. Next I heard the rattling of her key ring as she unlocked the heavy door that should prevent any of us to escape.

"Please stand back", the nurse said with an almost robot-like voice as she opened it just enough for her to enter and stepped inside my cell.

"You should use your soul eating jutsu this time, this would be so perfect", J, my companion (and the reason why we were here), whispered to me.

He was sitting on our small bed playing with his fingers.

"And make sure I'll be restrained to my bed for a week with an annoying blindfold in my face while you will be standing next to me laughing? No, thank you", I growled.

The nurse said something but I did not listen.

"Come on, Ena. They deserve it. They kept you here for all these years and they'll probably keep you forever. And it's just a matter of time until the guards will pick you out anyway to kick your butt for some stupid reason"

* * *

I woke up in a comfortable bed in a small room. Yawning I sat up, trying to remember what had happened before. The memory made me flinch. But where was I now?

I looked around me. A little desk, a wardrobe...

"So you finally are awake..."

I jumped and nearly fell out of the bed.

"Hey, calm down, okay? I'm not as scary as the leader... As long as you don't provoke it"

A guy with blue skin sat on the bed next to me, a sword covered with bandages on his lap.

"Otherwise..." He stood up grinning, exposing his sharp teeth. "...I will cut off one of your legs" He swung his sword. "Or maybe two. Depends on my mood"

I stared at him wide eyed. This guy must be joking. Cutting off legs?

"What is wrong with you?", I whispered. He laughed.

"I'm Kisame. You are Ena, right?"

I nodded. He was the last guy I wanted to piss off by ignoring him.

"Pain-sama told me to look after you until he comes back from his... mission. Unfortunately I've also got work to do, so I'll bring you to the TV room and you'll stay there until I come to pick you up, alright?"

So the leader's name was Pain? What a fitting name..

Again I nodded. This might be my chance to find some escape tools and come up with a plan. Kisame somehow seemed to know what I was thinking because he added: "I don't need to remind you what happens if you try to escape, right? By the way all the others are usually in this room, so you will have company"

All the others? I followed Kisame out of the room.

"You said 'all the others' before", I said as we stopped in front of a door which had to be the entrance to the TV room. I felt shy and also scared because I've never been around lots of people yet.

"How many are-"

"Oh, don't worry, they are nice" He grinned.

Then he opened the door and kicked me inside. I landed on my knees.

"Enjoy" He slammed the door shut.


	7. Chapter 6 - Making friends

**This chapter is huge! Hope you have fun reading...**

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Chapter 6

I stood up and examined the room.

To my surprise it was empty except a black haired man sitting on a couch, watching TV. He looked at me, his face bored as ever, before he turned his attention back to the TV. I stretched my neck to see what he was watching. It was an old movie in cold print.

Then I heard a laugh and noticed that there was another room to my right, probably the kitchen, and it seemed there were a few people in there. I walked over and hid next to the doorway, so I could hear them but they would not be able to see me, I hoped.

The same laugh again, then the sound of a glass hitting a surface.

"Ahaha! You're nuts!"

"It's true! But guess what happened next, un..."

He could not continue because the other guy was obviously laughing his ass off.

"Wait...", he gasped still laughing, "I can't breath!"

More laughing, this time coming from multiple people. Suddenly the sound of breaking glass.

"Oh, shit!"

"You idiot!"

"Damn, you're wasted, un... I'll get something to clean this up"

A door fell shut.

It seemed like there would be no more conversation so I was about to leave when I heard them speaking again.

"Did you know there is a new one?"

"Yeah, Konan told me. It's a girl, isn't it?"

Suddenly a hand grabbed my shoulder, turning me around.

I flinched.

"It's not nice to overhear people's conversations, un"

I stared into two flashing blue eyes, belonging to a slightly feminine looking guy with long blonde hair. He grabbed my wrist, pulled me up and shoved me into the kitchen.

"Time to introduce yourself"

In fear of so many new faces I grabbed this blonde guy's shirt and dug my nails into it. He only laughed and kept pushing me into the room.

A red haired guy sitting on a bar chair stared at me. I tried to read his facial expression, but this proved difficult because he did not have one. Was he even real?

"This is her?", he asked, his voice making me shiver.

"So...", the blonde said ripping my hand off his shirt, "this is Sasori and that wasted guy over there.." He pointed at the silver haired man sitting on the floor with half closed eyes. "... is Hidan. And I'm Deidara."

"I already know Hidan, he brought me here...", I whispered.

"That bitch passed out after a few minutes being tied up! I'm gonna beat her ass!"

With wagging legs Hidan stood up and staggered in my direction.

"Calm down, Hidan. You're drunk.", Sasori said but then turned around and browsed through a journal like this was none of his business.

As this crazy guy stepped closer with a devious smirk I tried to hide behind Deidara but he stepped away.

"This is your problem, not mine un", he said with a cold voice before walking over to the fridge.

My eyes filled with tears. Would they really let me get beaten up by this much stronger man?

Hidan pushed me to the ground, making me land on my back. He bowed down and began punching me. I screamed and covered my face with my arms but this did not stop him, he kept beating me. He hit my arms and feet, my head and the spot where Kakuzu had punched me in the stomach before which made me cry out in pain.

From the corner of my eyes I saw Deidara sitting on another bar chair with drink in his hand, clearly enjoying my beating.

Desperately I tried to block Hidan's fists with my hands but failed.

"Help!"

He laughed and the disgusting scent of alcohol hit my nose. Then he grabbed my shirt and lifted me up. Blood trickled out of my mouth which made him grin even more.

"Feels awesome, right?" He giggled.

I groaned and coughed up more blood.

"That's the spirit"

His arm stiffened and I knew he was going to smash me into the floor.

"Cut it out, will you?"

That was the black haired guy from earlier.

"Get lost, Itachi. You're ruining the show, un", Deidara shouted from the background. What a sick bastard.

"Stop it, Hidan. You'll kill her"

"So what?", Hidan growled but then changed his mind, "But maybe you're right though, I should kill her in a ritual for Jashin-sama and not now"

And with that he opened his hand and let me fall down to the ground. He left the kitchen but not without kicking me one last time which made me wince.

"Bitch"

I felt horrible. The pain in my limbs was bad and I felt humiliated. Why do these people hate me this much?

"I'll get you to my room", Itachi said, noticing my pain.

I wanted to reject his help so badly to get at least some of my dignity back but looking at all my injuries I knew I had to accept it.

Summary for today's events

I've just met a few members of this... organization or whatever this is supposed to be and the first thing I've done was showing them they could mess with me and didn't have to respect me at all.

_Well done, Ena._


	8. Chapter 7 - They aren't all that evil

Chapter 7

I winced as Itachi dabbed something cold onto the worst injuries and bandaged them.

"Why did you help me?", I asked when he had finished.

He looked at me with his onyx eyes but did not answer.

Instead he said "There's blood on your clothes. Wait here, I'll get you some new ones"

And with that he left the room, leaving me back puzzled. What was it that made him save me from Hidan?

A few minutes later Itachi returned with a gray pair of leggins, a pair of socks and... underwear? I blushed but he did not seem to give a damn when he threw them onto the floor in front of me. I bent over to pick them up, my face red as a tomato.

"Those are Konan's clothes. I picked them from the clothesline in the washing room"

He opened his wardrobe.

"I couldn't find any of her shirts though, so take this"

A black t-shirt landed on my back. I gathered all the clothes and stood up to look for somewhere to change. I was not going to undress in front of this guy for sure.

"The bathroom is to your right. You can also take a shower if want"

Quickly I hastened into the bathroom and locked the door. I was shocked to see my reflection in the mirror for the first time and I noticed I've never known what I actually looked like until now.

I was small and disgustingly skinny. When was the last time I ate or drank something? I don't remember...

Hastily I turned up the faucet and drank the cool refreshing water. It felt wonderful as it ran down my raw throat. I wiped my mouth with a towel and looked up again.

I had long brown somewhat curly hair and light cyan eyes. They stared at me, looking foggy and reflected my weakness and pain. All in one, I looked down and out.

After I've taken a long shower, I changed into my new clothes. They were a little bit large, especially the t-shirt but they did not fall off so I kept them, although it felt weird wearing some other woman's underwear. I also found a small box with hair ties which Itachi used for this pony-tail and grabbed one to tie my wet hair into a bun.

When I left the bathroom, Itachi was lying on this bed, reading.

I stayed where I was, waiting for some kind of reaction but he did not look up from his book.

I coughed slightly. Now he looked up.

"What is it?" Again he had that vacant expression he's had in the TV room before.

"Thank you... for letting me use the bathroom. C-Can I leave?", I stammered.

"No" Itachi sank back into his book, not caring about me anymore.

Confused I stared at him. Maybe I should just leave this room very quietly in a few minuted. He wouldn't notice being that focused on that book, would he?

_Yes, he would, idiot._

J! I looked around me but he was not there. Suddenly I felt dizzy, so I sat down on the floor.

_I'm in your brain. Somehow I can't get out, I'm stuck!_

"How did it happen?", I asked.

With a shock I saw Itachi was looking at me. Did I really spoke out loud?

"What was that?"

"Oh, nothing", I quickly replied.

Fortunately he only raised an eyebrow and continued reading.

_I have no idea but I bet it has something to do with this place. You need to find a way out of here, no matter how..._

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**Please not that this is not and won't become a love story, there will be no pairings whatsoever... **

**However as already announced in the summary rape could occur although I'm not sure if I can do this to poor Ena. I've really start to actually like her so maybe I will spare her this and remove 'rape' from the category... **


	9. Chapter 8 - Let's play

**One week time leap in this chapter!**

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Chapter 8

Since Itachi would not let me leave his room, the only thing I could to was waiting and working on my escape plan.

In the following days I used every minute of my time to check this place for ways to escape.

The problem was that this building had absolutely no windows and I had no idea where the main entrance was. The only thing I noticed was the ventilation shafts in almost everyone of the members' chambers, high up on the walls. The next problem was that as soon as they left their chambers, they locked it. So my goal would be to steal a key from an S-rank criminal unnoticed while being under constant supervision by at least one of them and then manage to escape through one of those shafts.

Sounds viable? Absolutely.

I sighted.

"What's wrong, Ena-chaan~", asked the masked guy known as Tobi who sat next to me on the couch. He sometimes scared me a little with his childish behavior but most of the time he was really nice. He (and Itachi maybe) were the only ones that have helped me feel a bit more comfortable in this week I have been here so far.

In that week I learned a lot about this organization called Akatsuki and their goal to extract all nine Tailed Beasts from their Jinchurikis in order to obtain a quite powerful *weapon*. But I have not understood yet where I would take place in all of this. They won't tell me which probably meant that my part in this won't be too much fun. The fact they already had eight Tailed Beasts wasn't good news. I had to escape soon.

"Ena-chan?", Tobi asked again, shaking me.

I jumped, being pulled back into reality.

"Sorry" I rubbed my head "I was absorbed in thoughts.."

He stared at me wide eyed.

"Is Ena-chan worried about something?"

"No, I'm fine", I lied.

"Mhh..." He took my hand. "Does Ena-chan want to go to Tobi's room? They can play there!"

He really was like a little boy. How did such a person end up with those bad people? Maybe he was powerful and that's enough to be forced to live here...

I nodded. In his room I would be safe from the others.

Tobi squeaked with joy and guided me to his room. To my surprise he locked the door behind us. Maybe it was part of the game still I couldn't help but feel a little nervous about this. At least he left the key in the key hole.

"Now we start playing" His sudden sinister voice made me jump.

"What's wrong, Ena-chan?", he asked in his child voice again like he also had a few minutes before. "Did something scare you?"

I stepped back from him, closer to the door.

Fear accumulated inside me. Something was not right with this guy, and I didn't want to know what it was.

"Well... what does Ena-chan want to play..." He turned around and rooted for something inside a wooden case.

Now that he could not see me I reached behind my back, searching for the key he left there earlier. Luckily I found it quickly and was about to unlock the door but the key did not turn around. Instead it made a loud noise. Shit.

Tobi turned around and even though he wore a mask, I knew he was pissed.

"Oh" He chuckled with his now deep voice "I don't think so"

A millisecond later he stood one inch away from me and reached over to grab my hand holding the key. He pulled it up and ripped the key out of my hand. I gasped as he stepped closer, squeezing me to the door. With his one eye, which was glowing red by now, he looked down at me.

"And with that you've just limited your game choice to two games. So, decide: You want me to be _really_ nice or _really_ bad? It's your choice..."

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**Important note!**

**The next chapter is one of the reasons why I decided to give this an M rating... So if your younger than 17 or don't really like the content of M rated fanfictions, you might wanna skip the next chapter. Don't worry, I will post a little summary (around 3 sentences) right at the beginning of chapter 10.**


	10. Chapter 9 - Losing my mind

**Here is chapter 9. It's long & it's crazy. **

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Chapter 9

Panting I looked up to him. There was no way to escape, I simply did not have the strength to push him away.

"I'm waiting, Ena-chan..." He squeezed me tighter to the door. I winced.

"But let me add this: If you want to walk out of this room alive and with all your body parts attached, I would choose option 1. So what will it be?"

I gritted my teeth. What a nasty piece of shit he was.

Although I could imagine what option 1 meant for me, I did not want to die in this room by Tobi's hand. If I would have to die at such a young age, I wanted to at least die an honorable death.

So I whispered even though it made me feel sick: "Option 1"

"What was that? I didn't hear you. Speak up, Ena"

I blushed, I didn't want this! Why was he doing this to me?

"I choose option 1!", I said louder this time. I had already lost my dignity at the time I met Deidara and the others anyway, so there was no point in making this even worse by staying silent. For my life's sake I had to go through this but it felt so horribly wrong.

He laughed and stepped back from the door. I collapsed. Finally his weight was off me and I could breathe again, but not for long. With his strong arms he pulled me onto his twin bed, laying me onto the sheets. Tobi himself sat next to me and held me down with his hands. I struggled against his grip. That little bit of confidence I had gained the moment before was gone. I wanted out of here!

"Please let me go, I don't want this"

"You chose it this way! Now stop resisting or we'll go on with option 2" This guy was so cold and merciless. Was he even the Tobi from before, this funny and playful guy?

Tears started to run down my face when he positioned himself on top of me, still holding my hands.

"There we go", he said and let go of one of my hands in order to pull his mask up a little so that only his lips were showing.

Quickly I used my free hand to try to push him off but he did not even seem to recognize it. Instead he leaned down and places his lips on mine. That was it.

With my free hand I slapped him in the face or at least that part of his face showing.

He pulled his mask back down again and used his one hand to choke me. Immediately I clung around his arm and dragged to remove his hand but again I didn't have enough strength to do so.

Finally he let go, I coughed and soaked in the air.

"You are making this really hard, aren't you" He sighted and, to my horror, pulled a kunai out of the back of his shirt.

Holding it against my throat he whispered: "One more time and things will get ugly" I gulped.

Then he pulled his mask up again and kissed me, this time with more force and still holding the kunai.

I just endured it and grabbed the sheets, crying. Hopefully this would be over soon.

But I realized Tobi was just getting started when he began to pet my head and slowly let his cold hand slide down my neck inside my t-shirt and down to my breasts. As he touched them I flinched and kicked him with my feet. I missed him and he pressed the kunai against my throat with more pressure. It felt so cold and squeezed my wind-pipe. I wailed.

"Don't...please", I gasped terribly shivering in fear.

"Make me stop then", he whispered into my ear. He was laying on my little fragile body with all his weight, making it hard for me to breathe, not to mention the kunai

poking my throat, ready to cut it open. It gave me goosebumps but I knew I had to do it, so I grabbed his other, free hand and placed it back on my breasts. After that I lifted my head up a little and kissed him. The imagination of me doing this made me sick but he seemed to enjoy it, put the kunai slightly back just enough for me to breathe normal again, and slid his tongue into my mouth.

"Open", he muffled through the kiss and I did as I was told. His tongue hit mine and his hand crawled under my shirt, fondling my breasts again.

The pillow underneath my head was soaked with all the tears that ran down my face. This was enough already!

As he would have heard my thoughts, he pulled back but for nothing different than lifting up my shirt, exposing my (or Konan's) bra.

"Please stop", I cried.

I shivered as he touched one of my breasts with his cold fingers.

"That would be boring...", he answered and pulled off my shirt and bended down again to open my bra, kissing me at the same time.

No, this wasn't happening. It couldn't be! The guy I trusted the most in this whole crazy organization was raping me right now.

My bra was being pulled off, my breasts now naked and exposed to this maniac. With his mask pulled up I could see him grinning.

No, no, no! Stop it! Don't look at my naked breasts! The sound of multiple people screaming and wailing filled my ears, they were crying for my misery as it was their own. One voice was louder than the others, it was J's voice.

Suddenly I heard a knocking sound and another familiar voice. The screaming stopped. This was and probably will be the only time in my life that I was so happy to hear that specific voice.

"To my office. Now. We've got something to discuss about my next mission" It was the leader!

"Shit. And you were just about to enjoy it, weren't you, Ena-chan?" He stood up, leaving me on the bed.

"In your dreams!", I shouted and threw a pillow after him.

"How dare you? I trusted you!" Noticing my tears, I quickly wiped them off.

"Trust... You don't need that here" Tobi pulled his mask back in place.

"I'm leaving this room and so are you", he added "So you maybe want to dress yourself"

Realizing that I was still halfway naked, I immediately blushed and put my clothes back on and crawled out of the bed. Shaking, my head still full with disgusting memories I stumbled out of the room, not waiting for Tobi. I needed to be alone now. So I ran into the broom closet I've found this morning and closed the door.

At once I collapsed, nearly hyperventilating. So cruel.. So terrible... So embarrassing... Again and again images flew into my mind. Images of me kissing that bastard, the kunai poking my throat, my exposed breasts, his touch all over my body.

My heard was pounding so strongly, it hurt.

He would pay for that!

Rage like I have never experienced it before filled my mind, like a fire inside my body, burning down every little feeling left in me but hatred.

My eyes flashed, lighting up the little room in a bright green color. The pain in my chest wandered to my brain, making me wince. It became so unbearable, making my mind all dizzy. Everything around me suddenly seemed really strange and far away. The ground opened itself up for me, allowing me to fall into relaxing darkness. I tasted blood in my mouth but did not care about it, rather enjoying the sudden peace.

Unfortunately it all ended really quickly when somebody opened the broom closet's door. This somebody was Deidara, staring at me shock and disgust as I was sitting on the ground, biting my own hand with a little pool of blood underneath me and staring back with glowing green eyes which quickly turned back to normal when I noticed what in the world I was doing.

I've lost my damn, tiny mind.


	11. Chapter 10 - Sweet memories

**Sorry for the snailed update, no internet at grandma's. **

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Summary of chapter 9:

Tobi got a little too close to Ena and it totally freaked her out. She has always been on the edge to insanity but that incident tipped her over the edge.

Horrified Ena then hid herself in a broom closet, allowing her horror to run free – until Deidara found her.

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Chapter 10

"What in the..." Deidara's expression turned from shocked to angry as he grabbed me arm and pulled me out of the broom closet.

"Get out of there, you freak!", he yelled.

I did not move, my body was limp and my mind empty. Deidara then grabbed my other arm and hauled me out of the closet, through the hallway.

"Where are you taking me?", I whispered. My body felt so weak and I was shivering.

"You've gone crazy, I'm gonna fix it, un"

He unlocked the door to his and dragged me inside.

"Stay there", he said as he left me lying on the floor while he prepared something on his desk. I bowed my head to see what it was but he already turned around, a syringe in his right hand. He was going to give me an injection!

"No", I screamed when he grabbed my arm. "Leave me alone! I'm fine!"

"No, you're not", he answered calmly and inserted the syringe. "Now, stay still, un"

The needle hit my vein and I gritted my teeth. It stung. What was this stuff anyway?

"Good girl..."

I could feel the injection's effect immediately, it was calming and I stopped shivering. I felt a lot better and relaxed but the drug did not stop working, it made me sleepy and my eyelids got heavy. Slowly I drifted into the world of dreams. The last thing I saw before I closed my eyes was Deidara petting my head.

"Sweet dreams..."

"Time for your medicine, Ena-san"

I saw the nurse's face through the little window on my cell door. Next I heard the rattling of her key ring as she unlocked the heavy door that should prevent any of us to escape.

"Please stand back", the nurse said with an almost robot-like voice as she opened it just enough for her to enter and stepped inside my cell.

You probably wonder where we are. This is a psychiatric hospital built for the worst of the worst. I lived here since 12 years, since I was 5. Before that I used to live with my adoptive family but they sent me here... because I wasn't what they expected. But never mind this.

"You should use your soul eating jutsu this time, this would be so perfect", J, my companion (and the reason why we are here), whispered to me. He was sitting on our small bed playing with his fingers.

"And make sure I'll be restrained to my bed for a week with an annoying blindfold in my face while you will be standing next to me laughing? No, thank you", I growled. The nurse said something but I did not listen.

"Come on, Ena. They deserve it. They kept you here for all these years and they'll probably keep you forever. And it's just a matter of time until the guards will pick you out anyway to kick your butt for some stupid reason"

The nurse's voice grew louder. "If you reject taking the medicine on your own, we will force you and it won't be nice, you know that. Please sit down on the bed"

"I can't. J is lying there"

"Guards!"

Two men wearing white shirts and trousers stormed in the cell. One of them was holding a taser.

"She won't sit down"

Slowly they approached me like I was a dangerous animal. They grabbed my arms and my feet were kicked so that I fell down on my butt. Pain shot through me and I gritted my teeth. J rushed to my side. "Are you alright?" "They will pay for that!"

White shoes positioned themselves in front of me. I knew it was the nurse. That stupid bitch... I activated my secret eye power. Their now bright green shine lit up the floor in its intense color.

The guards noticed it. "Oh, shi-"

I looked up staring in the nurse's eyes. She screamed. Her soul came out of her eyes as a green dust as her skin lost all its color, leaving back an empty gray colored body. The dust entered the pendant of my necklace which began to glow in the same green color as my eyes did. The soulless nurse fell to the ground and I heard J's joyful shouting. I could still hear the nurse's screams in my head but her soul being in the necklace protected me from any mental pain.

_Bzzzt._

The taser hit me and everything went black.


	12. Chapter 11 - Emotions

Chapter 11

I woke up restrained to my bed, my eyes were covered with a blindfold.

"J?", I asked.

No answer. They must have given me the drug. I started to panic, being without J in this cruel scary world gave me the creeps. I wished I could have been able to at least look out of the window. I have not been out in this world yet. They do not tell you anything: I had no idea where we were, I had no idea about the world itself. You only got to taste the air when you were allowed to walk in an isolated yard for one hour three times a day. With handcuffs. And hospital staff holding your arms.

Yes, the people held here were mentally ill (most of the time). But why did they treat us like inmates? Being in jail is for punishment, but being in a psychiatric hospital is for recovery. Did those people really belive our souls would heal like this?

It's my third day in absolute isolation and J has not returned yet. Yesterday another staff member told me they had reported me and my special eye power to the hokage, whoever that was, and somehow the messenger had been killed on his way and the information was stolen. I didn't know what to think about that but maybe it meant good news. Maybe not. What would I do if I got such information about some person somewhere with some special eye power? I probably wouldn't care but since everyone said I'm totally insane, this may turn out interesting.

Covered in sweat and with a huge headache I woke up, to my surprise in this basement room I've been in on my first day here. Somehow my brain felt different... Then I remembered.

My memory! It was back although everything was a little blurred and still with some holes inside. All those years in the clinic... I remembered the day I arrived there, crying and not wanting my adopting parents to leave. But they walked out of the receiving room with this vacant expression on their faces and not saying a word. Not even "goodby"!

Pain shot through my brain, I grabbed my hair. How dare they! I loved them. Didn't they... love me as well?

My treatment which consisted of isolation and too much medicine made me suffer more than I had before. Before, I had been a normal little girl with a too big imagination. But this clinic made me the become the monster I am now. My eye power would have never been activated so early if they hadn't provoked it, I would have never had this overwhelming hatred inside me. Maybe I could have had a normal life, keeping my eye power a secret... Then I wouldn't have ended up here.

Tears shot in my eyes. I wiped them off.

So I was here because of my eye power. But what did the Akatsuki want that for?

Suddenly I heard a noise coming from the door. It flew open and somebody stepped inside. It was the leader.

He walked towards the mat I was sitting onto and looked down at me.

"So your memory is back"

I did not know if that was a questions so I just nodded. I had a thought of trying my eye power on him, but then I remembered something. "Unfortunately this doesn't work on me" He had said this on my first day here. But why wouldn't it work? I looked up. His eyes were indeed different, the iris covered his whole eyeball. It sure was another eye power which made him immune to mine. So that's interesting.

"I know what you are thinking", Pain said, "But as I already told you..." Suddenly he looked a little startled.

"So you even know that? It's good to know that you listen to what I tell you"

What's with all that talking? Can he get to the point? I couldn't hold it anymore.

"Why am I here?", I asked, my hands shaking. Nobody ever wanted to tell me. That means it had to be a horrible thing but not knowing what it was made it even more terrifying. I had to know.

The leader raised an eyebrow.

"Isn't it obvious? You are here because of your eye power"

"No shit" I rolled my eyes.

The leader suddenly bowed down and grabbed the collar of my shirt.

"Watch your mouth, Ena", he growled "You will know when the time has come. But until then I want you to behave" He pulled something out of his coat.

It looked like a peace of fabric. I screwed up my eyes. It was a... a blindfold!

Immediately the memories were back. Tied up in that hospital bed for days with a blindfold covering my eyes. I didn't want this anymore!

"No!" I screamed as Pain was about to put the blindfold on me.

He stopped for a moment. "Do you think I will let you eat the other members' souls? Either you wear that blindfold now or I will lock you in this room with someone who will torture you until you decide to wear it which means you will end up wearing it anyways. So what will it be?"

"You don't understand!", I cried, tears rolling down my face. At that point I didn't care how weak or stupid I might looked. This had to end.

"I've been confined for so long, I was always alone, nobody ever loved me but rejecting me and calling me crazy. My mind is flooding with horrible memories. I... I just can't take it anymore!" Crying I covered my face with my hands. All those emotions I had buried deep inside me were there again. The sadness, the pain, the... hatred.

Then something happened that I would have never thought to happen. I found myself in a hug. Somebody was hugging me and softly petting my head. I gasped, my tears stopped.

"This world is full of hatred", Pain whispered, "It's hard to already experience it at a young age, the scars in your heart from that time will last forever. But now you are older and stronger, so you can change things. Use that power to create a better world"

He pulled me back, resting his hands on my shoulders.

"Once I was like you, not loved and rejected. But this time will pass, you will learn how to deal with the pain in your heart, it will melt away and your mind will become clear. It just takes time"

I sniveled. In his eyes I could see it clearly. There was so much pain in them and still his face did not show any emotion. He had learned to deal with his emotions a long time ago and now they didn't shade his heart anymore. Would I ever be able to accomplish this? A sudden pain in my brain made me flinch. Black dots and weird prints covered my vision. Scared I covered my eyes with my hands. The leader took my hands and held them tight.

"Don't be scared. I will all end soon"

Then he put the blindfold on me. It still made me shiver from bad memories but I wasn't as terrifyed as I had been before. Pain pulled me to my feet and we exited the room and went upstairs, just like on my first day.

In his room he led me to a chair and I sat down. I couldn't see, so I did not know in which direction I was supposed to look until the leader started talking again.

"I'll be off on a mission this evening with Konan", he started.

"What kind of mission" I was surprised. Why did I care about his mission?

"Our job is to capture the Kyuubi. I don't know how long it will take but I want somebody to look after you until I'm back..."

The Kyuubi? This was the last taled beast! After that I would probably have to... Then I would know... I knew I needed to escape this place while Pain was off but something inside me didn't let me. I did not notice that the leader was still talking.

"... I noticed you were getting along so I decided he would be best for this"

"Who?"

"Do you even listen to what I'm saying?" He was that cold and emotionless person again, I could feel it. "I chose Itachi"

Mh... Itachi. This wasn't too bad news after all. He had given my new clothes and had treated my wounds after Hidan had beaten me up. Itachi didn't seem like a bad person. But so did Tobi until he did this... thing to me. I shook my head, I could not trust anybody here. That maniac said it himself.


End file.
